


Wish upon a Blackstar

by afabulousjello



Category: Voltron Force, Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Fusion between VF and VLD, Implied past Shallura, M/M, Shay is also dead, Takes place in the VLD universe but follows the initial plot of VF, Transgirl Pidge, off screen/ mentioned character death, past Shay/Hunk - Freeform, shiro is dead, the paladins are a mess, tw depression, tw suicide ideation and non-physical self harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-13
Updated: 2018-12-15
Packaged: 2019-02-01 14:44:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 19,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12707091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/afabulousjello/pseuds/afabulousjello
Summary: The Garrison has become a massive oppressive force on Earth, and the Paladins have to make do with the consequences of their decisions two years after peace has been established. Strewn across the universe, they find hope in new cadets able to pilot the Lions and they try their embark on their toughest and bitterest fight for saving Voltron from the throes of bureaucracy.EDIT: changed the rating to mature due to graphic descriptions of violence and for the emotionally heavy material in the coming chapters.





	1. It makes no difference who we are

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Voltron is being declared a war criminal.”- There was panic in her eyes and she tripped the words on her tongue in her hurry.- “They are going to try and disassemble her.”

Contacting Earth had been a mistake. They all knew and should have known better, because what is humanity if not a product of its own mistakes over and over and over again. But faced with the reality of six Galra flagships reaching the Milky Way and skirting way to close to home, all reason just fades to a desperate cry. To give Earth a fighting chance. To warn them somehow in the most basic human way to save them from certain death.

And in a way, the damage had already been done in the second Lance burst out with Blue out of that cave right in front of the nose of the Galaxy Garrison.

And humans as they were, terrified and desperate to prove their worth and power, had not spent the last six years playing with their thumbs.

And they really, really should have expected this.

Because who, but humans would think of firing a particle accelerator laser into space.

Two of the Galra ships were shredded by the time Voltron arrived on scene to clean up the vestiges of the once all-encompassing empire. 

Allura looked over the debris and saw an ally.

Hunk looked over the debris and saw brutality.

Lance looked over the debris and saw certainty.

Pidge looked over the debris and saw potential.

Keith looked over the debris and saw fear.

 

Peace was a tentative, fickle beast, much more difficult to tame than subjugation. Threats were dealt easier than promises and compromises, and unity reached in darkened chambers filled with the smell of fear suddenly meant nothing when released into the bright daylight.

Allura founded the coalition to help her win. She didn’t really think about how it would work after it reached its initial goal. 

She turned to the only other example she had for alliances of peace over longer distances and across cultures- Earth. 

(Coran tensed and smiled, like he always did when an old memory lurched itself in his heart like a cold spear. Of course no one else remembers the Voltron alliance of the olden days. Eons have come past since then. And he smiles still.)

 

Humans on Earth reached comparative maturity much faster than Alteans did, she knew that. Just like Olkari, Tenzites and Rowandas. They towered over her. 

And no matter how much she had contributed to freeing the Galaxy, she was pushed to the sidelines once the deed was done.

In her opinion, the deed, as they said, would never be done, because ever since the conception of Voltron, it has not only been a sign of Peace, but also of Power. As long as greed existed, someone would always want to get their hands on Voltron.

 

War had not been pretty. It never was, and casualties stained her fingers just like everyone else’s. She couldn’t help but feel the most responsible for them though. The much she was against endangering indigenous life, playing the long game included consenting to if not her Voltron, then someone else making the unthinkable choices. 

The Blade of Marmora had carried many crosses for her in that way.

And in the last desperate months, somewhere in the desperate struggle by nails and teeth, Voltron has become a sign of war like every other weapon has.

And what was Voltron if not the most powerful weapon of the universe.

 

If there was one thing humans were good at, it was making their opponents feel like their needs were met, by ensuring their own were as well. 

Voltron was a weapon, and to ensure the feeling of peace, it had to be locked away. She knew that.

 

(She  _ knew that. _ \- Hissing through gritted teeth and nails digging into the soft pads of her palms masking so many emotions at once.)

 

They weren’t just asking her to give up a machine. They wanted her to give up a part of her father as well. And she was ashamed that after all those years she still clung to their last moment together as if it was yesterday.

 

Though entrusting it to the humans? 

Maybe that was really the mistake.

  
  


The halls of the castle rung empty as the lights diminished to half power, as if it too was going dormant with the Lions themselves. Filled with heartache she strode down the halls one last time, before she left it behind in its resting place on Arus.

It wasn’t her home, in fact it was no home at all, but the Castle has meant something to the Arusians for thousands of years and it felt improper to do anything else with it, rather than return it here into their care. 

An intergalactic senate- Lance had laughed and explained that it was so very human, it was like something out of a science fiction story. 

Allura sighed deeply. This is the most she could do now.

 

Of course most of their issues weren’t that simple to smooth over like her getting a new title assigned. Senator Allura of Altea rang just as regal as it did empty.

And while she consented to certain things in order to ensure the greater good, that did not mean that her now disbanded team members did the same.

 

Lance bargained. He begged her for a purpose, a place to stay, a spot in the universe. No longer ecstatic to return to his family, rather than he was terrified. 

Hunk was relieved. Not of the guilt for losing Shay. Never of that. But he was happy to give up his responsibilities once and for all.

Pidge was conflicted. She yearned for space, but she was stretched too thin between her lost father, her abandoned mother and the trauma of her brother. She stayed quiet. So dangerously quiet.

Keith was distraught. Distraught was a light word. He was a mess. He never recovered from Shiro’s absence, the pressure that put on him and the things that he did to himself in that time as well. While Lance had been good for him, the swing had just come back when “Shiro” revealed himself as a clone. It left him broken and torn up all the old buried hopes of still being able to find him somewhere in space.

 

When the Galaxy Garrison called for humanity's heroes to teach the new generation of space explorers, Lance was the first to answer. Hunk followed him for a sense of direction. The routine did him good, Allura thought. He was much more like the Hunk she’d gotten to know.

Pidge has returned to Earth as well, a year after the other boys did, finally satisfied with the open wide and in need to take care of her mother. She loved the challenge though, and the Garrison finally allowed her access to all those things she could only dream of.

In a way, it all was still helping humanity and the universe, if however confined to a singular planet.

 

Keith, once again consumed by the fire that was his search for Shiro was scratching on scabs and kindling fires that were re-instigating old conflicts. Of course he got himself under the scrutiny of the Galactic Senate.

Allura endured their accusations with a stone cold face. In the end, it wasn’t hard to pretend when she herself didn’t approve of what he was doing. It was neither healthy, nor useful, but she didn’t exactly have the power to hold him back. They all had their own shards to pick up.

 

No matter the circumstances, it was still a shock when Pidge all but fell through the door with the news.

“Voltron is being declared a war criminal.”- There was panic in her eyes and she tripped the words on her tongue in her hurry.- “They are going to try and disassemble her.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Active fic, updated as often as I can. 
> 
> Song of the chapter:  
> It makes no difference who we are - Celldweller


	2. With nothing left to chew, they spit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So you are saying you are sure it will have no effect on her if they try to pry Voltron apart to its smallest bits?”  
> “I never said that.”- Lance paled.

Lance didn’t remember children being this difficult. Not from his own time at the Garrison, and not from the time he had spent with his nieces and nephews. Maybe, he thought, there was a fine line between six year olds, ready to learn, and a bunch of disinterested, rowdy teenagers.

Not to sound like an old man, but in his time there, space was the dream and he would sit there wide eyed every time the instructor told him about far away worlds.

Nowadays they could catch the news from Olkarion every other week and slideshows would promise vacations on far away planets. It was crazy to think it had only been 12 years. 

 

Interestingly, Lance supposed, he always thought of Pidge as the instigator of their whole mes, even though historically he himself was more likely to be marked down for flying Blue first. But Pidge had been there on the rooftop that night, listening to alien transmissions on the lookout for her family. Lance in the wast sense of things just had gone along. 

This time too, when she had alerted him that something was amiss with the Garrison, he was right by her side, shoveling out a secret den for the three of them.

 

“Have you contacted Allura yet?”- Hunk asked, tone tense and gravel.

“Don’t even think about that!”- Lance hushed him.- “We all know that she is in a tight spot with the Senate. If the Garrison finds out she knows-”

“The Lions are technically her property.”- Pidge reminded him.

“Having your quintessence bound to something doesn’t make you the owner of anything.”- He grumbled. Did any of the robeasts own themselves after they have become the amalgamation they were? They were still just Haggar’s after all.

“Whatever.”

“Voltron is public property, they are to be released when the Senate perceives we are under threat.”- Lance quoted.- “If there is no war anymore, there is no need for Voltron. In fact, Voltron itself has evoked the war in the first place, hasn’t it?”

“So you are saying you are sure it will have no effect on her if they try to pry Voltron apart to its smallest bits?”

Lance paled.

“I never said that.”- He backtracked.

 

He felt like a crazy conspiracy theorist, and it didn’t really help that Pidge had set up their little hideout literally in the sewers underneath the Garrison.

 

But the thought didn’t leave his head. Every time he spoke to other teaching staff, he wondered what their personal opinion on Voltron was. _ How many of them despised him for doing what he did? _ Every time he spoke to General Iverson. _ Whether he still saw the 17 year old scrappy boy or the decorated veteran? _

He wondered how many of them bought into the dogma that perpetrated that Voltron was at fault of all the damage that was done? How many of them played into the General’s fear mongering hands?

 

He didn’t need to wonder about their opinions on Keith however. Because that they would tell him without shame and full with malicious honesty.

 

Keith was gone, and he was the one having to deal with amiss opinions about him, keeping his face clear and polite while Keith’s name was dragged through the mud. 

He knew Keith. And he knew that he wasn’t doing OK and that as his friend/partner/lover/significant other, he of all people should have been there. But it was a moment of weakness, and Lance had needed to heal himself before he could have even thought of helping anyone else. 

For once he had been selfish and his abandonment had caused his team to fall apart.

 

\--

 

“Cadets, stand to attention.”- The instructor barked as Lance entered the room.

He hadn’t really been meaning to interrupt the lesson, he just wanted to find a port to connect Pidge’s newest listening device to while she was hacking away in the basement. Now, however he couldn’t just leave.

“Thank you Lieutenant.”- He said as he walked up to the podium at the front.

“What do we owe the honours to?”- He asked with an annoyed glint in his eyes.

“I must admit, I think I am in the wrong here. My timetable said I was supposed to teach this class fighter class aerodynamics, but now I am not so sure about it.”- He let his face adopt a smooth half smile and relaxed his position as he heard the students behind him murmur.

He could hear fragments of his name being passed along the students, many of them seeing him for the first time in real life. First years, most likely. He was definitely not meant to teach this class then.

The Lieutenant sighed.- “You might as well stay, Commander McClain, since this is a session on galactic history.”

Lance’s eyes darkened.- “Oh. You want me to talk about the war then?”

“Unless you have an actual other class to teach aerodynamics to.”- This room wasn’t even in the building that the practical oriented classes were held at.- “I am sure the cadets would appreciate anecdotes from a contemporary witness.” 

Lance raised his eyebrows, but turned towards the cadets, conceding.- “Very well. How far into the topic are we?”

“Cadet Johnson, elaborate.”- The Lieutenant called on a student.

“We just finished discussing the early phases of the War of Voltron after the reawakening of the machine on Arus.”

Lance snorted quietly. _ The War of Voltron _ . Is that how they were calling it now.

“Anything else?”

“And we talked about the formation of the Voltron Coalition, lead by Princess Allura of Altea.”- The cadet added nervously.

Lance took a calming breath. The rest was for him to sum up, apparently.

“There have been three key battles in defeating Zarkon’s army after that: The first battle of the Coalition nóon Naixallah, the Puribean-Ring war, and the capture of Prince Lotor, who is now the only surviving member of the original Galran royal court. While there have been disagreements on the fact, Coalition-aligned Galra forces have demanded to be cared for with equal consideration, and they thought keeping him alive would help them rebuild  their culture on a less violent image.”

“Do not confuse the Coalition with the Senate in your essays, cadets.”- The Lieut. smiled. 

“The Galra have the same understanding with the Senate, so what does it matter?”- Lance huffed at the interruption.

“We aim for historical accuracy here.”- He said, still smiling.

Lance has never felt more disliked before.

“Not all Galra are monsters.”- He said, the mantra he had repeated many times before.  _ But enough of them are to cause terror and fright _ .

“After the capture of Lotor, the Coalition started to settle on peace talks, which phase Earth was heavily involved in. We delegated many talks and treaties, because interestingly, we have the largest tradition of reconciling wars. Makes you think doesn’t it?”- He jotted in the bit of sarcasm, watching the cadet’s reaction.- “And here we are now.”

“Sir, what happened to Voltron?”- A boy asked.

“Omatsuda!”- The Lieutenant barked.- “Only speak when you are called!”

“I like to keep my reminiscing sessions informal, if you don’t mind.”- Lance interjected.- “Let them ask questions beyond what a textbook can offer.”- He turnd back towards Omatsuda.- “Voltron was decommissioned. It was a dangerous weapon and a sign od conflict, even under the jurisdiction of the Senate. Princess Allura went on to chair the senate and oversee the peace treaties. She had been thinking of stepping down from being a pilot even before this decision was reached. Commander Garreth, Holt and myself have become instructors at the Garrison as you know, to teach the new generation about space.”

There was a breath of a pause, before Omatsuda spoke again.

“What about Commander Kogane?”

“Keith is a fugitive and an enemy of the senate. Out of the people involved with the VOltron operation he was the only one who didn’t accept the resignation and is technically still considered an active Palladin. Over the last two years he has been on the run, trying to do god knows what.”- He shook his head.

“Did the shift in the leadership of Voltron reflect on the changes in battle strategies?- A girl asked.

“You mean when Keith took over as the Black Paladin?”

“Yes. I have read his leadership style was greatly different from Takashi Sirogane’s.”

The name was like ice in his veins.- “No two people are the same. Of course he lead differently.”

“But Kogane’s style had been associated with a lot more violence.”- Another cadet said.

“It had a lot to do with timing. By the time Keith had become the Black Paladin, we found ourselves in combat situations with increasing severity, where tough calls had to be made. Keith’s style just lent itself to it more. And towards the end of a long struggle, everyone gets more desperate and it is harder to make the right decisions.”

“How hard did those calls had to be?”- Yet another face asked.- “I mean, did Zarkon really have to die or could better justice have been dealt by putting him on trial?”

“Was his death just another facet of Kogane’s leadership?”

“Was it because he was part Galra that he possessed such a violent streak-”

“That’s not true! Commander Kogane would not have willingly made that decision!”

Lance was used to the tight feeling in his heart every time Keith’s name was so much as mentioned. The heavy pain as if a part of him had died when he left.

What surprised him though was that those words didn’t come from him.

 

Omatsuda has standing, hands slammed on his desk, chest heaving from angry breaths.

In his eyes Lance recognised an almost forgotten flavour of conviction that for the first time in a while, made him filled with hope.

 

“I don’t believe that.”- He said.- “Voltron was a sign of peace, how could it ever be considered dangerous? The universe has gone 10000 years and celebrated it and then we come along and declare it bad because the General is afraid of a bigger gun than his own?”

“Dan”- The boy next to him was hissing at him between gritted teeth, eyes looking between the teachers in terror.

 

Terror was the right word indeed, for all that was happening on Earth right now.

In ten years the Garrison had not only taken over the US, but also consumed the majority of the world, taking over any other United Nations or NATO alliances. Through propaganda and publications, they instilled a fear into people’s minds, as apparently humans were only able to unite if they were given a common enemy. Too bad that it had been slain and now liberal conversations about the morality of it all were uprooting everything.

It was difficult to say what made him stay and accept all the compromises his current position held. On one hand, he had nowhere else to go and still wanted in abstract for the illusion of proximity to his family. On the other hand, it was just like the Shire: it had been saved, but not for him and the changes were all too clear to see. He made a deal with the devil just to keep the illusion of a comfort, the sense that he could somehow regain his life before the war, if only he stayed closely entwined with the Garrison.

That also pre-required that he accepted the decommissioning and subscribed to all the opinions and propaganda of the Garrison that he was told to teach. 

And Lance had bought straight into it. At that point, raw from loss in so many directions, he was ready to be anyone’s lap dog for a shred of a peaceful life.

Keith would have laughed at him.

If Lance remembers correctly, he even did.

 

It took a single message from Pidge however telling him to keep an eye on the evil close to the source and Lance was back in action. Rejuvenated with the fire of having a purpose again, the need for action filled his numb fingers again. He was needed. Íhe was doing something against the injustice.

In the end he was nothing if not an adrenalin junky.

 

“That’s enough!”- Lance shouted. He knew what role to play so that he could keep his charade up a little longer. Even if it broke him to punish the first person back on Earth that he heard defending Keith without even knowing him.- “Cadet Omatsuda, this is not a discussion about our individual opinions on historical facts. You either trust the decisions that have been made by your superiors, or you don’t belong in an institution like the Garrison at all.”

“But-”- Omatsuda started.

“I’m sorry sir, he didn’t mean-”- The cadet next to him replied instead of him.

“I said enough. Both of you will see a notification from me and your supervisor expecting you for detention after this stunt.”- Lance said with dispassionate coldness in his voice that he only heard from his own teachers before. Omatsuda sunk back into his seat, eyes full of rage and betrayal.

 

\--

 

“I got my hands on some high level access codes.”- Hacking into Garrison files seemed like routine work to Pidge now.- “Iverson has the coordinates to the current locations of the Lions, I’m sure of it.”

“I don’t think either of us can get our hands on that data pad.”- Hunk said.- “He has always been paranoid, I mean, seeing as the info isn’t even on the main servers, but on a datapad that he always carries around with himself. Much less the fact that we are the last people that he would let his guard down for.”

Lance leaned on the damp wall and tried not to upset the many cables passing by his feet.

“And what if it wasn’t us who got the thing at all?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song of the chapter:  
> Blackstar - Celldweller


	3. Death to Elysium!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance knew exactly what he was risking, but he also knew that those children would not be blamed if he was the one who set them up to it.

“Are you out of your damn mind?”- Vince almost yelled as they jogged down the corridors after class. Daniel stomped ahead, still fuming.

“Keith Kogane is a fugitive my ass. Did you see his face when he said that? I swear to god he actually smiled when I defended him. McClain was a Paladin of Voltron as well, he must have some spine. How much do you think the Garrison is paying him to spit that bullshit right back at us?”

“Hey!”- Vince finally digged his heels into the ground and gripped Dan’s arm, pulling them both to a halt in the sea of other bodies rushing by like pebbles in a river.- “You know I agree with you on any other day, but you are going too far. I get that it is not fair, I would be angry too if my heroes were dragged through the mud. But we are playing with our future here.”

Daniel actually looked ashamed, all the fumes evaporated. - “I’m sorry.”

Vince smiled.- “How will you ever catch up with them and make it to space if you end up being kicked out of the Garrison?”

“Kogane was a dropout and he got to be a galactic hero.”- He pouted.

“Well, look where that got him!”- Vince laughed and clapped him on his back.- “We got to worry about our own heads, with the massive detention we got hanging over them.”

“Uh, don’t remind me. I can’t even imagine what McClain would even come up with seeing what sort of a dick with a stick up his ass he has become.”

 

\--

 

Daniel really tried to be anything but a stereotype. He didn’t want to be smart, he didn’t want to be good at martial arts, he didn’t want to be emotionally distant. He wanted to be great.

And honestly, how often was an Asian American kid given a better role model than Keith Kogane, savior of the Universe: a street smart, hot-headed orphan, the heartthrob of so many young people discovering crushes. Daniel just really, really wanted to see himself in the greatest man of the Universe.

 

And now Voltron was public enemy number one and Daniel was a stupid kid for still believing in their heroic deeds.

 

McClain’s office was hidden away on the third floor of the Flight School building. He shared the same awkward set-up with two other professors like all junior staff, but his space at least had a door, now locked behind Daniel and Vince.

“So, you two little Voltron enthusiasts, what shall we do with you?”- He smiled, and Daniel could have puked.

“I talked to Mrs Onglenco and we both agree that this kind of curiosity does not warrant any disciplinary action, so your parents will not be notified. However, you two still need to learn some self discipline.”

Dan could almost hear Vince mutter  _ Not cleaning duty, not cleaning duty, not cleaning duty- _

“It is not cleaning duty.”- McClain said, cryptically able to read minds.- “It’s data transfer. Since you will be assigned to senior staff as well, you might even consider it a privilege. For a whole month, aside from complying with your regular assignments, you will be expected to show up in a timely manner each morning to pick up sensitive data that will need to be transported to a secure location.”

“Why not just send them via the Network?”- Vince asked.

“Anything that goes online, stays online. In the Garrison we have a lot of material that we don’t want to be vulnerable to hacking.”- He explained.- “You will start at General Iverson’s office tomorrow morning at 5am. You will receive further information later today via notification. Any more questions?”

Daniel stared at the screen on the wall projecting life-like images from space, making it look like it was a window into the unattainable.

“No, sir.”

“Dismissed.”

 

\--

 

Daniel hated Iverson with burning passion for putting that brandishing mark on the Voltron Paladins. It made his gut coil however in shame, that he was also a healthy portion afraid of him. 

The access key had gotten them in just fine, but Iverson’s office was deserted, despite the fact that they were ordered to pick something up from him that morning.

He glanced at Vince and saw the same doubt mirrored back at him. 

Was this the way the Garrison dealt with rowdy children? Set them up to bigger trouble and get them expelled when they search too close to the truth? 

He swallowed his fear and stepped towards the office desk.

 

\--

 

Lance knew exactly what he was risking, but he also knew that those children would not be blamed if he was the one who set them up to it.

What he didn’t expect thought was how soon the alarms would go off.

 

He had commissioned another access key when he entered the two cadets into the system for data transfer duty. Just a back-up plan. A simple sleight of hand  that could be attributed to not having read the form correctly.

At 5:03am he knew he had to check on them himself, too antsy to sit tight, all too precarious to let uninvolved variables handle it.

\--

 

The alarms blared and bathed the room as Daniel removed the datapad from the hidden compartment in the drawer just like McClain’s instructions have told him.

He didn’t pretend to be too surprised, he knew exactly how sketchy and wrong it all felt from the start.

He still flinched.

\-- 

 

Lance rounded the corner hiding behind heavy footsteps. Iverson was tall, bulky and far too certain in his standing to bother checking behind his shoulder.

He crumbled all the same when Lance had sunk the stun-gun into his back, knocking him out for a short while. Lance kneeled down, following his movement fluidly, the conundrum of the alarm masking any noises he was about to make. He crammed through his uniform and retrieved the small data carrier from the little pendant he had tucked inside his shirt.

He checked his communications channel again and looked up-

 

Two pairs of petrified eyes stared at him from behind the desk.

 

“Fuck, those two are still here.”- He called into his earpiece.- “ Plan the extraction Pidge, I am bringing the two cadets with me and we are not coming out smoothly.”

At the two cadets he barked- “Bring that data carrier as well.”

 

\--

 

“One of them will be a decoy, that’s sure.”- Hunk hummed.

“But which one.”- Lance thought out loud.- “I wouldn’t put it past Iverson to think about a double bluff. Or worse, make us think it is a double bluff, when in fact it’s all more simple than we think it is.”

“Or,”- Pidge added quietly.- “He could have split the necessary data onto two carriers. One is the code, the other one is the key. At least, I would have.”

“Come on Pidge, Iverson is not as clever as you are.”

“We learned the basics in the same institution.”- She reminded them.

“So you are telling me we need a plan that allows us to get both copies?”- Lance said, not amused at all,

“Or at least trigger him into revealing the decoy.”

 

\--

 

The security soldiers advanced and Lance jumped the nearest one reflexes still sharp and honed from years of combat, twisting him to the ground and wrenching his gun from him, evading shots at the same time. He took aim and shot down the two other guards at the end of the corridor. Adrenalin flooded him and he pushed on like a machine, taking the corridor towards the basements next. Crunched one more set of kneecaps and took down another one from behind, feeling him go numb as he fired a third in the chest.

The heavy body collapsed on top of him and he sank to the floor as well. His vision swam and he only sobered out of him when he felt the softness in his arms instead of mechanic metal plates.

These weren’t sentries. 

They were flesh and bone people. 

 

“Commander McClain. Commander McClain!”- He heard Vince’s voice echo in his head.

 

How many lives had he taken this exact same way? His fingers loosened around the gun, as if realising that it wasn’t his bayard anymore and rejecting the vile thing. 

He breathed empty, bodiless, a crash of waves and echoes and lost sounds and the cries of combat-

 

Hand grabbed him and he was pulled forward. For a second he saw Keith in front of him.

“We got to get to Commander Holt!”- Daniel yelled in front of him.

 

“We’ll take a shortcut through the server room.”- Lance pulled them into a different corridor, snapped out of his stupor. How embarrassing, really. They already lost so much time.

“I am airborne in 5 seconds, Lance. I can bomb my way out of here and then you guys are free to go on a second shuttle, but I can’t hold out on the ground any longer.”- Pidge reported.

“Hunk, status!”- He said instead of replying.

“A corner away from the server room exit.”- There were heavy grunts on his end.- “I got the functional access codes to the hangar.”

Lance’s lungs were burning as he pushed the two children across the lanes of cables, hiding behind blocks of tech. The sound of footsteps increased behind them and Lance was sure they were not far from being shot at again.

 

And despite all of that, he longed for the feeling of his old chestplate, the steady hum of Altean tech in his ears and the feeling of invincibility that came with being in a position of power. 

Vincent shrieked as they pushed onto the next floor and he was grabbed by a security guard.

The smile disappeared from Lance’s face faster than lightning. 

 

Hunk slammed into the attacker and freed their pathway.

“Follow me!”- He said and the mad chase continued.

 

One swipe of a card, one set of stairs taken too slow, one moment of hesitation. Something, Lance convinced himself, something must have happened, because the amount of guards actively shooting at them increased drastically.

 

“You two, buckle in. This will be a difficult take-off.”- He said to the cadets as he switched the ignitions on the little shuttle on.- “Hunk, you-”

 

“Start up Lance, I’ll hold them off.”- Came through the radio.

“What?”

“I can keep the airspace clear for about one more minute.”- Pidge said.

“Hunk I am not coming back for you.”

“Leave! You got to leave now.”

“But-”

“Lance, you have the datapads, you got to get out of here. Now!”

 

Lance allowed himself anger, biting down on his tongue and clenching his jaw. 3, 2, 1-

 

“Take off now.”- He said signaling Pidge and all but floored the controls in hastening the takeoff.

 

\---

 

Space didn’t feel as empty as it did before. So many notable deaths rang through it, filling the void with even more marring absence, fading echoes of people and things that once meant something. He wasn’t able to breathe in space,

 

“Do you have it?”- Pidge asked as soon as they squeezed through the automatic door on board of the Castle of Lions, already in her space adventuring outfit.

Lance tossed her the datapads.- “I sure as hell hope we do.”

“It was the one I described to you, wasn’t it?”- She asked skeptically.

“Just plug it in and we’ll see. Even if not, we are at least far away from the Garrison now.”

“Hunk is still there.”- She said.

Lance gritted his teeth and felt like the emergency lights were still casting their eery red shadow on him.

 

Allura approached them right behind Pidge. Though she was out of breath from having run down from the control rooms, she was still regal enough with her hair braided around her head like a halo to elicit gasps from the two cadets.

Something in Lance’s heart slotted into the right spot at the sight. It was like coming home, like a fresh breeze with an old and familiar scent. He was lost in the blue and pink of her eyes, the crinkles around her eyes, the fondness of her smile.

In a way, everything was exactly as they left it.

“I’m so glad to see you in one piece.”- She said as they hugged.

Lance smiled into the embrace, face tickled by the short fluffy strands of her hair.

“It  has been so long indeed.”

“So, what now Pidge?”- She turned towards the other ex-Paladin.

“I get the coordinates, we fly there as fast as we can and free as many Lions as possible before the Senate or the Garrison gets notified.”

“And Hunk?”- Lance asked.

“We’ll worry about him after that.”

There was internal disagreement in her voice that didn’t need to be vocalised for the other two to understand. She had wanted Hunk by their side, but now the operation enjoyed priority over a person’s life. 

The same old ship, the same old stick, really.

“Allura, do you have any change of clothes on this castle?”- Lance asked.

“I do.”- Pidge quipped and motioned towards the two sports bags on the floor. Lance nodded and opened one of them and rummaged through the contents.

“You packed my undies too?”

“Listen, the last time we ran off to space, I was stuck in the same shirt for four years before we got a change. I was not risking that again.”

He felt out for a familiar soft cotton shirt and his old leather jacket. That explained how some of his clothes had disappeared between laundry runs.

“Just how long have you been planning this?”- He added quietly.

“I brought Hunk’s stuff too.”- She said and the guilt was palpable. Lance looked over the untouched bag.

“Let’s go and look for a spare shirt for you guys as well.”- He turned towards the two now ex-cadets.- “We can’t have you run around in Garrison uniforms through the entire Universe.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song of the chapter:  
> New Elysium - Celldweller


	4. How could have I been making sound when my mouth and my lungs had both fused to the ground?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As his face swum into focus in the familiar red glow, Keith’s first words to him were - “Why are you wearing my uniform?”

Keith always thought space was violent. Not in the actual sense of what they have been doing, but just the wide expanse of emptiness that whirled around him soundlessly and still evoking an immensely loud cacophony in his head. It actively felt like sand was grating in his ear.

But still he was just floating in the weightlessness like he used to in the waters of Earth.

Who was he kidding, the biggest body of water he has ever seen was a baby pool.

He still equated the flowing feeling with water and death.

He imagined Lance would be offended at the accusation.

 

He knew that were no sounds in vacuum, but it still felt like he could hear the sounds of lasers firing around him as he floated across the debris , half slipping into unconsciousness. It has been a long while since he has been shot out of a fighter. He felt a bitter smile creep upon his lips.

Just at the edge of consciousness, he saw a glint of colour across his visor and imagined three specks of Red, Green and Blue fly towards him.

 

\--

 

“It is Keith.”- Of course Lance was the first one to confirm that. It was wishful thinking, but they all had hoped that when hearing about the combat taking place close to the base they heard the Black Lion was being held at.

However Keith’s mere presence wasn’t what had lured them out there.

 

(“What the flying hell is that stuff?”- Lance asked staring at the screen.

“I’ve heard researchers refer to it as Haggarium.”- Pidge said.

Allura huffed.- “What a legacy for that witch.”

“Is that the stuff that has come out of the portal when it was first opened?”

“Without a doubt.”)

 

“Keep the formation and still, no firing at the ships directly. Try to just graze them and allow us a way in to get to Keith.”- Lance commanded over the comms.

 

(“Is it weird that after all these years piloting Red, this is the first time I have put on the Red armour?”

“Not at all.”- Allura smiled.- “It is partially my fault. Since the pink armour is somewhere in an exhibition hall.”- She frowned.

“It is weird. I feel like every time I accidentally put on Keith’s PJs”- He looked down the length of his suit.- “A little bit short in the legs.”

He smiled sheepishly and Allura let out a laugh.) 

 

Allura throttled her flight and let the two more agile Lions into the battle while still providing back-up.

 

\--

 

“It’s the mission that matters, not what I want or what desire.”- Keith said, voice as dark as the circles underneath his eyes.

Lance looked at him with a pitying, unconvinced smile.- “Do you actually believe that yourself?”

 

The joke was on him, Keith hadn’t been able to recognise his own reflection in the mirror for a while now.

It had been so easy to convince himself that the team didn’t need him anymore and hide away with the Blades before he become naturally useless to them. It was far too easy to let those thoughts chip away on him and burn in his stomach with self-righteousness.

He deserved that.

 

He _ deserved _ that.

 

Just like he deserved the condescension and pity in Lance’s eyes right now.

Fuck him.

Fire ignited in his guts and suddenly he wanted nothing more than to punch Lance in the face. But more than anything he wanted to punch his own face, see and feel all those fragile bones shatter and turn into a pulp.

 

And he tumbled; he only tumbled downhill from there. Repeating the same phrases in his head, every breath he took a cruel punishment hammering the message home. Every risk he took skirting close to death equally a deserved blow and an exhilarating break from the heavy pain, making him feel alive. He began collecting scars like trophies and bruises like confirmations of his lack of self worth.

 

Keith still remembered vividly the time when he laid on the battlefield, ribs piercing his lungs, ears still deaf from the intensity of the explosion. He remembers seeing Lance’s face in the fogged up helmet, far too hot inside from how fast his panicked breathing was. Keith knew that fault in the filtration system and he almost missed it.

Lance had picked him up and dragged him to safety, dragged him back to the Castle and Team Voltron.

 

Just like he did now, six years later.

 

\--

 

“LEFT flank Pidge, LEFT FLANK!”- Lance yelled scaredly over the comms. Pidge struggled to keep Green on track and made over-corrections at the end of her course trying to avoid hitting Red smack in the face. 

“Got you you covered from rad 20°”- Allura said and a glance at the monitors told Pidge that Blue was firing at the fighter behind that.

“Sorry Lance.”- She said as she spun Green around and made quick work of a few of the mapping drones swarming around the battle stage, successfully blinding some of the Garrison’s sensors. Lance flew out from below her and made a straight path for Keith, still floating in space.

“Doesn’t matter.”- He glossed over it.- “We are losing time. How much closer can we get to the base before we are in trouble?”

“Six ships still attacking us.”- Allura reported.- “Might take about half an hour before bigger class ships arrive. I need to be out of here by then.”

“What about that Haggarium threat?”- Lance asked.

Pidge’s ears were filled with her own heavy breathing.

 

“Pidge?”

 

Green was going too slow. Way too slow. There were precious milliseconds lost between finding buttons and returning to the controls.Between her reading the screen for other fighters and adjusting Green’s speed. Shapes blurred across the windshield as the whole Lion shook again, being thrown out of the trajectory ba another shot and Pidge struggled to keep the controls straight.

“The Haggarium readings, right.”- She said in an increasingly panicked voice. Green made twist and the horizon shifted around them. The most upsetting thing about riding a robot with artificial gravity in zero G was the loss of inertia and sense of direction. It has been a long time however since it had made Pidge this nauseous.

The engines thrummed and the shaking of the screen vibrated just at the bad frequency that Pidge had trouble reading the exact numbers. With shaking hands, she reached around trying to find the right button.

“Stabilizers… stabilizers.”- She mumbled. Where the fuck were they?

 

“Here.”- A small hand shot out at the control from behind her and Pidge almost had a heart attack. She completely forgot she had taken Vince along in the backseat.

 

“Thanks.”- She said and made quick work on the readings.- “Covering most of the base at rad 70°. Still outside of visible light. They might be advancing on the Black Lion like we thought.”

“Completed sonar mapping of the base. Black is in the main hangar.”- Allura reported.

“The Black Lion is useless to us without Keith.”- Pidge said.

“I am trying to get to him.”- Lance said irritated. 

Pidge cursed under her breath as she aimed towards the fighters on Lance’s tails, making them abandon their target.

“Pidge, are you OK?”- Allura checked.

“Yeah don’t worry about me.”- She sniffed.

“Cover me Allura.”- Lance said.- “Now!”

 

Pidge watched as the Red Lion reached the marked POI on her screen and as if in slow motion, Red opened her mouth and swallowed the dainty figure clad in black.

 

\--

 

Keith had left the conversation, icy cold and silent, deaf to all the worried looks and questions passed across the room. He walked straight back into his and Lance’s room and collapsed on the bed. An itch overcame him to crawl out of his skin and pull it all off by the nape of his neck and he writhed, wailing into the soft cover, howling; sobbing.

He didn’t want this role again. He wanted nothing to do with leading Voltron. That was the reason he left after Shiro’s first disappearance in the first place, when they tried to shove the same responsibility down his throat and he continued to gag on it still. 

 

He had essentially wasted three years of their lives running away and leaving his friends with that cheap copy that he wanted to believe in was real, because that is how much he wanted to avoid the responsibility. Now the clone was exposed and Keith’s decisions had wrecked both the team and himself.

And worse still, he let the quilt sink in deeper and claw away at his soul, that he had gotten sidetracked. That all this time that he had let the clone distract him and satisfy the answers about Shiro’s whereabouts, he had been actively abandoning the real Shiro. The second he saw the clone in that beat up Galra spaceship, he had given up on searching for his friend. 

Keith’s stomach twisted and he let the sobs shake him to his core. What has he done? What has he  _ done _ ?

 

He had remained curled up in that ball for more than a week, letting his guilt and anxiety consume him and no amount of soft words or coaxing from any of his team members could get him as much as respond.

 

When he got up, showered and shaved, he felt like he wasn’t even the same man anymore.

 

\--

The steel beams of the base rattled like an earthquake had struck them, like they were being torn apart by the deathly forces of a hurricane twisting tides from within. There was an eardrum blasting loud sound as the Black Lion freed himself from her man-made prison and rose to the sky once again, poising herself onto her rightful place like the Empress of all space around her.

Black came eye to eye with Red, demanding her paladin back.

 

A deadly force behind which an even deadlier power hungered still.

 

\--

 

Lance had invested so much in him, nursing him back from the suicidal state that his time at the Blades has left him, and he continued to invest still, building him up and assisting him in being the leader of Voltron. 

Keith sometimes felt like his entire existence hanged on  a Lance-shaped scaffold.

 

So many years later, Lance was there still there. As his face swum into focus in the familiar red glow, Keith’s first words to him were:

“Why are you wearing my uniform?”

 

\--

 

Like millions of mauve glowing bugs, the Haggarium molecules soared up, approaching critical density. They towered over the base and advanced as shapeless, but not aimless amalgamation towards the Black Lion.

“Wow, fuck. Now that is visible light all right.”- Lance cursed. 

 

Like the tsunami towering above them before it hit the shore.

 

“Incoming from the left.”- Allura shrieked and all of them launched into action. 

Pidge maneuvered around, trying to avoid the dispersing fighters and the Haggarium as well.

Things feeling a lot bigger than debris rocked the Lion and Pidge minutely lost track of her teammates.

“On your right!”- Vince shouted and Pidge made the adjustments just in time.

 

“Guys, Black has powered down.”- Keith said, voice crackling as it came through the amplifying system of Red’s comms.

 

“The base seems to be evacuating.”- Allura said.- “Do we help them or pick up Black and leave?”

 

The answer was obvious, though the conflict was just as apparent.

 

Pidge took two more hits and managed to avoid a couple of onslaughts of Haggarium before Lance and Keith apparently reached a conclusion to their silent conversation.

 

“Take Black. We can’t afford it being infested with whatever this stuff is.”- Keith commanded. And just like that, everything somehow slipped back into place, Allura and Lance taking half a step behind Keith’s command. It was almost nostalgic, and made Pidge feel so comfortable, it was almost guilty. 

 

Everything slotted back into its gears, except Pidge. 

 

And an awful feeling had begun to crawl up on her spine.

 

\--

 

“Just go ahead. I will be there in a bit. I need to do some check ups on Green.”- She said Vince away, listening to his uncertain footsteps before she took her helmet off and let herself crumble, covering her face in her hands. 

It wasn’t Green that wasn’t flying as usual, it was her. And this had really been nothing more than just a routine non-mortal combat. Something that she has done several times before, nothing that would have warranted this level of clumsiness from her. She shouldn’t have lost that much of her edge in only two years. Something was wrong with her.

She straightened her back, letting the shuddering breaths pass upon her, washing the adrenalin out. She wiped the hair out of her face, sticking to her drenched by sweat.

She thought with honest terror to the specific part in the battle when she realised that she wasn’t alone. Not possessed, or intruded, but through her connection with Green she could feel just a shred more than just herself and the ancient machine. Like her horizon just expanded with a new addition. Somebody new manifested.

Maybe that was the reason for Green’s sluggishness. Maybe her time as a Paladin has come to pass.

\--

 

Daniel was vibrating. Not only did he get to sit in one of the Voltron Lions, but he got to rescue Keith Kogane and meet the man himself.

He had looked so frail, floating through space as Red closed her iron teeth around his form like a mother would cradle a newborn child. All of that evaporated the second he stepped into the cockpit next to Lance, strategically holding on to deactivated levers, keeping a steady footing. He frowned slightly at seeing Daniel and then later VInce, but those questions weren’t the most burning on his mind once they disembarked the Lion.

Daniel supposed he should have had a little more patience, as a meet and greet wasn’t the most important thing to do or the most important news to catch up on, when Black was damaged and Keith himself injured too.

He still felt slightly disappointed when he watched Lance whisk him away towards the medical bay, followed by Pidge, recapping the past events to the best of her ability. 

 

Allura returned to the Castle’s controls to check on passive navigation, leaving the two cadets to fend for themselves.

 

Daniel wasn’t ashamed to admit that he and Vince have spent basically re-enacting the battle to each other from different perspectives while their voices and moods rose higher and higher.

 

It was hours later, when he had slipped back into the interesting mix of Altean and hand me down clothes he got from Lance, that he braved to wander around the Castle again. Lance’s shirt hung on him like a sack, Vince having an even thinner frame had to borrow one of Allura’s black undershirts. The Garrison uniform overalls had been impractical and far too cold for space. Daniel longed for the warmth of the wooden floors of his home.

 

Through the kitchen area he found a passageway leading to one of the common rooms, and he followed the sound of quiet conversation. His blood began to throb in his ears. This could be his chance and finally introduce himself to Keith and-

He willed his legs forward.

 

Daniel didn’t mean to eavesdrop and he was pretty certain the others didn’t notice him from that angle, but what he saw made him freeze on the spot.

This wasn’t the Commander Keith he had come to know from videos and publications.

Keith was sat flush next to Lance on the sofa, leg all but in the other man’s lap. Lance’s arm slung over his shoulder and tangled in his hair, while other hand was intertwined with Keith’s in their lap. Fingers idly playing with each other, Keith was holding up a phone of some sorts, sharing memories of the past years and making Lance chuckle fondly.

Daniel almost literally felt the vertigo. This was not the version of the steady and sturdy commander of Voltron that Daniel was ever meant to see. And the softness and vulnerability frankly creeped the hell out of him. This was meant for Lance and Lance only, and Daniel felt worse every passing millisecond for intruding. 

When newspapers spoke about Keith’s trust and devotion to his Right Hand Man, they had no damn idea what they were talking about.

 

The bubble was interrupted when Pidge came through the door like a bundle of energy and she beamed at the two men on the couch scrambling to separate to a socially acceptable distance.

“Hey there loverboys.”- She wiggled her eyebrows brandishing a pair of scissors in her hand.- “It’s time for a haircut.”

Lance rolled his eyes, but Keith actually laughed.

“Save it. I already got all the scolding from Lance for not finding a space-hairdresser for two years solid.”

“Well now you have me again.”- Pidge said and she moved onto the sofa and sat down next to Keith, pulling him out of Lance’s arms and pushing him to sit on the floor in front of her.

“I’m assuming we are going for the usual.”

Keith hummed.- “I like what you did with your hair. The shaved side looks nice.”

The sliding doors opened again and Allura stepped into the common room looking over the other Paladins.

“Everything OK?”- Lance asked her and she crossed her hands in return.

“Yes. We are safe for now. I think we need to wait a full quintant for the news to estimate the effect of and opinion on this mess.”- She sighed.- “I am not sure how much longer I can stay away from the Senate without expecting the worst consequences.”

“We will figure it all out as fast as we can.”- Pidge assured her.

“At least it’s good to have you back.”- Allura said to Keith.

 

A full second passed without any reaction and Daniel guessed something grave must have happened between them from the way Lance tensed and looked at minute twitches of both of them. He only relaxed once Keith offered an exhausted sigh and an almost smile towards Allura.

 

It almost looked peaceful. If it hadn’t been for Keith’s silence replacing the old banter, Pidge’s trembling hands as she cut off strands of his hair, Lance’s watchful eyes observing the interactions, ready to intervene any second if needed. Daniel was dumbfounded by how much history seemed to have passed between them that he couldn’t even begin to understand.

 

He felt like he never should have crept along the shadows.

 

\--

 

“I think it’s best if I resign from being a Paladin.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song of the chapter:  
> Birthright - Celldweller


	5. Why have we forgotten everything that we are worth?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It will be good to learn from you two as we separate your bond.”- Iverson delivered, like a booth connecting to the right spot in his guts and Hunk keeled over vomiting, spilling the contents of his stomach on expensive dress pant legs.

Hunk heard the alarm noises from the hangar and the blaring of a shuttle’s thrusters lifting the vehicle up and above and he smiled privately to himself. Arms descended upon him and as Hunk was dragged away, the last thing he saw was Iverson’s furious face.

 

He had been put into the detainment chambers, where he had spent the next few weeks waiting. For all the places and space-prisons that Hunk has seen in his time, this prison particularly has been so human, so distinctly Earth; the rooms barren and filled with the deliberate smell of desperation. 

Not like it had a lot of effect on Hunk, who has repeatedly stared down Zarkon in the eye until the purple glow of his strange eyes has faded almost to white in his vision. And Hunk has still lived to walk away and tell the tale.

 

It wasn’t a story of heroics that he enjoyed to tell, however. In his humble opinion, everything he has done in the fight to save the universe has been born out of cowardice. Fear for his own life or others’.

In the end fear had been as good a motivator as anything else, but it did nothing to make him feel proud and accomplished. Rather than, the bigger the deed, the bigger was his anxiety about losing it all. 

 

“Do you know where the members of the Voltron force are currently?”

“No idea.”

 

Despite being a big guy, Hunk has always felt small in space, ever since having set foot in the Castle on Arus, ever since having boarded the Blue Lion in that ancient cave out in the desert. Something about the mismatch there made him feel weird.  

And despite not wanting to be there necessarily, he was still and he did what he was asked and he did it thoroughly.

 

Hunk sometimes wondered if any of the others had felt like the ten years have passed dragging like a punishment.

 

“What are the future plans of the Voltron force? What was this breakout meant to accomplish?”

“No idea.”

 

It was easy to lie and pretend serenely with a smile plastered on his face. Iverson has forgotten that it was him who taught the then cadets how to play his buttons and not let anything slip.

 

The net thing he knew was he was being led along a maze of corridors to a shuttle taking him to an off-shot base full of scientific equipment even he didn’t understand. And amidst the oversized machinery, Hunk spotted the familiar outline of his Lion with its chipped yellow paint. He paled until his complexions was indistinguishable from the plastered wall.

He noticed the amount of cables connected to Yellow, the additional chips put into his hull and scrape marks left by drilling and the empty spots where panels have been removed in haste. Suddenly, all the haphazard reasons why the Senate had wanted access to Voltron  made sense to him.

Impassiveness gave way to anger, and Hunk hasn’t been able to feel anything this strong in a long while.

 

(Hearing a scream with so much feral intensity that he hasn’t even been able to imagine before as the earth around them collapsed. The disorientation, the dust everywhere even in his brain. The desperate hands digging deep into puddles of molten  _ metal _ ; digging, pulling. 

He didn’t notice he himself had been shouting until the feedback in the dead radio had reached his ears.

 

“SHAY!”)

 

“What have you done to him?”- Hunk demanded answers. From anyone that could give them. He could practically _ feel _ Yellow’s discomfort as if those cables were digging below his skin.

“Scientific advancement comes from understanding nature’s workings.”- The general walked into the room, proud like a god pretending to be blind.- “And that sometimes involves taking apart your predecessor’s machines and putting them together better.”

“You are damaging something irreparable.”- He warned.

“Prince Lotor had been able to build his own copy of the same material without any access to the original building plans.”- If he could do that, we can do better, was the message that rung through.

“The Combinoid was vastly different. It did not have any quintessence specificity like Voltron did.”

“Which is what we aim to understand here.”

“That stuff is borderline magic.”

Yellow groaned in anguish in his mind and Hunk struggled to get his footing in the situation. 

“Thank god we have you now, then.”- Iverson smiled, but his exposed teeth seemed more like vicious snarl.

“What?”

“It will be good to learn from you two as we separate your bond.”- Iverson delivered, like a booth connecting to the right spot in his guts and Hunk keeled over vomiting, spilling the contents of his stomach on expensive dress pant legs. 

 

Yellow roared in his mind and all the carefully constructed compartments in Hunk’s mind started to blur together. Yellow’s consistent voice muddled with the shrill cutting edge of Shay’s. Flashes of the Balmera interspersed with the serene rocky landscape of Yellow’s presence. 

Hunk was forced into something like and electric cage and along the way, his mind had shifted back into a dangerously comfortable and familiar pattern. 

 

One breath and he had the scientists sampled like Galra sentry wardens.

Another breath and he had an escape tactic on how to bludgeon his way out. 

Another one and-

 

\--

 

Allura collapsed and felt the whole ship tilt in unison with her. Her vision greyed, dark edges closing in around her, making reality look like a distant dream.

“What the hell was that?”- Lance stumbled like he was rocked around on a storm-bound boat.

She could barely breath.

 

\--

 

Hunk collapsed on the floor writhing in anguish. He never thought closely about what Haggar’s possession magic must have felt like, but this was pretty much how he would have imagined it if he had to. 

His head was spinning, thoughts jumping and Yellow wailing, wailing and wailing.

 

For how long will Hunk continue to let people down?

How long will he allow himself to sink down in a hole of his own making?

How long will he continue to hate himself without giving himself the chance to _ fight _ ?

 

He was right. He was absolutely right. Hunk breathed.

Despite everything that has happened to him colouring his skin in scars, Hunk was still there, breathing. At an arm’s length from his Lion - his ship, his weapon his partner; the only thing keeping them both in captivity was Hunk’s inertia.

 

The connection between them rung up again, crystal clear like it had felt on the first day they met. Hunk gathered himself up to standing and let the ethereal presence permeate him. 

He must have made quite a sight, as the scientists around him cautiously took a step back. Hunk felt proud vindication rise in him with malicious joy.

Lips furled into a confident smile as he gave Yellow a single order.

 

“Take us out of here, big boy.”

 

And the earth shattered. It felt like a force of nature, an avalanche, a landslide splitting trees and demolishing roads and towns all the same. Yellow stood up with little regard to all the sensitive machinery connected to him, eyes alight with newfound life. He stomped leaped across the hall, a large paw making quick work on the wall separating him from Hunk. In a blink the two of them were eye to eye again. With a sense of belonging, Hunk reached for his Lion as the giant jaw closed around him.

 

He closed his eyes for a second, forgetting about the sound of commotion around him.

He was home.

He was all right.

 

Amber glow surrounded him like a welcoming hug and with a push of a few buttons, Hunk has cleared away most of the restraints around them. Without even checking whether Yellow was fit for interstellar travel he brought them up to the sky. 

 

“Navigation and radio on.”- He instructed the voice control system. A small modification that he had made ages ago to enable better multitasking. To this day, his hands struggled to leave the thruster controls while driving. 

A glance at the screens told him he wasn’t even in the Milky way anymore. To think he hadn’t even noticed.

 

Hunk sighed as the system notified him of a number of fighters leaving the base to chase after him. 

The same old; same old.

 

Yellow rattled as he pulled around to take out at least some of them, when a crackle on the radio surprised him. 

“Got visuals on the Yellow Lion.”- An unfamiliar, fairly young voice said. Hunk frowned. He had hoped the radio would sync up with the Voltron comm system, in the off chance that Lance and the others had gotten any of the other Lions.

“What, like flying?”- Lance’s voice said.

“Lance?”- He responded.

“Hunk?”- Lance sounded endlessly relieved.- “You alright buddy?”

He deliberated for one second, thinking about lying while four Lion shapes appeared on his main screen. 

“As well as one can be.”- He grumbled and ripped off errand electrodes still glued to his arm. He manoeuvred as best as he could avoiding the fighters, but Yellow still had to stomach a couple split shots that reached them. And much larger star destroyers were rising behind them still. 

“ETA in 30 seconds.”- The unfamiliar voice spoke again and for a second Hunk wondered whether he had accidentally tuned in to the Senate’s radio transmissions as well, but then the other four components of Voltron crashed straight into the ongoing battle. 

 

“ _ Woohoo! Team Voltron to the rescue! _ ”- Lance’s once youthful voice would have said and the thought echoed in Hunk’s mind in sharp contrast to the focused commands uttered by his friend now.

 

The large destroyers were gaining on them and Hunk privately wondered which planet’s technology they were using to achieve that. Five Lions against four Senate issued destroyers and numerous fighters would need to be made into a stance. 

The same thought must have passed Keith’s mind because the next thing he said was:

“Good, we have all five of us. In formation, now!”- He ordered.

The Green Lion wobbled and sluggishly changed paths.

“Vince take Keith’s left between Black and Yellow.”- Allura ordered.

“Wait, Vince who? Where is Pidge?- Hunk asked with growing confusion. The goddamn fighters were increasing and Yellow was barely holding together. He wasn’t even sure whether it would survive forming Voltron.

“We’ll explain later.”- Keith said.- “Form Voltron!” 

But the usual feeling struggled to set in.

“Negative, Keith.”- Lance said agitated, pulling away and taking out a couple of fighters.- “It is bad enough that the Lions have shown up, but we cannot let Voltron be seen. Especially not with Allura piloting.”

_ “But-” _

_ “No!” _

“The damage has already been done Lance. We got to get away from here without Iverson on our heels.”- Keith retorted, but he abandoned formation all the same following Lance’s lead and slowing down the fighters swarming too close to the Blue Lion and reducing Allura’s workload. The Black Lion was sluggish and moody under Keith's control.

Green tumbled and didn’t catch the memo, flying straight towards one of the large destroyers. Hunk bolted after them and Yellow took yet another hit in their stead.

“Quiznacking hell.”- Hunk cursed. 

“Sorry! Sorry!”- Vince apologised.

“Where is Pidge?”- He asked, a lot more angry than before.

 

“Saving all your collective asses.”- Pidge muttered over the comms. A teludav bloomed above them in its weird turquoise glow on the visual reconstruction screen.

“Get in the wormhole Shinji.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally part of a longer chapter, but I got bored of editing and not getting the later half right. Might get edited together in future.
> 
> Song of the chapter:  
> (still) New Elysium - Celldweller


	6. Under the waves we sink like stones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Let’s make Shiro a grave.”- Hunk said.

Daniel had watched Pidge wring her hands anxiously as the transmissions filtered in. Fidgeting in order to reign in her urge to action. How her jaw had tightened every time the team had to give extra commands to Vince.

He frowned in confusion as the Voltron formation was abandoned before it could even fully happen and wondered if it was due to Vince, if his friends felt guilty at all, if there would have been anything he would have been able to do if he had been in his stead-

“Daniel, keep the ship controls.”- Pidge had said as she finally gave in and rushed over to the central panel, activating processes that Daniel previously thought only Allura was able to do.

 

“Channel residual energy into teludav generator.”

  
\--

 

When Daniel had learned that Vince was chosen to pilot the Green Lion, he didn’t even dare to examine his own emotions on it.

 

\--

Hunk caught Pidge on her way to the Green hangar as she was hurrying along with agitated steps. He grabbed onto her elbow and Pidge startled, but her face was immediately schooled back into nonchalance. To think that there had been a time when it was impossible to sneak up on her.

“Why?”- He asked sternly and Hunk needn’t really specify. Pidge’s eyes kept darting around his face, as if afraid behind a hard gaze. So she did what she always did when afraid and cornered: pushed it all away and deflected.

 

“It made sense, Hunk.”- Pidge said.- “I haven’t been flying in years and quite frankly, I can make myself more useful on the Castle than anywhere else.”

“So dropping someone else in your spot made more sense?”- He questioned disbelieving. Hunk had known that the children were part of the emergency evacuation; no one had this in mind however.- “Someone this young and inexperienced? Someone like you had been when you came onto this adventure?”

Hunk couldn’t exactly fathom her reasoning and soft brown eyes held his gaze, expression completely blank.

“Vince has an affinity for Green that makes mine dwarf in comparison.”- She said.- “Green made her decision. I made mine.”

End of the discussion.

For a repeated time, an uncomfortable silence has settled between the once unified team. Where Hunk pressed, Pidge held firm and that had been their established routine all along.

 

Pidge pushed away from the hangar door following the cadet - Vince- to check up on him after his first flight. And Hunk was left behind wondering if coming back had been such a good idea after all the things that went lost between them.

\--

“Congratulations Team, looks like we accomplished our first objective.”- Allura said once they have assembled in the their main meeting room a shower and a quick change later. Hunk took up a spot next to one of the doors already ready to go before the discussion began.

“So, what now?”- Keith asked, like he would always ask, because despite being the proclaimed leader of the team, he never once acted like a decisive head, always listening to better suggestions before sharing his own.

“I am already in contact with Coran trying to work out the next steps in our plan.”- Allura supplied.- “From my part that will mean drafting up policies that will protect Voltron.”

“We also have the Haggarium business to consider.”- Lance added and it felt out of place.

While Keith would bramble along, Pidge would immediately theorise, Hunk would supply evidence or fail-proof the plan. Say some big words and act clever. Be unfailable.

But now she wasn’t fucking there, now was she? Probably hidden away in one corner of the Castle, sending a literal teenager in her stead, and Hunk really tried his best as to not maliciously frown at Vincent. But he resented so much.

So damn much about the situation.

 

Allura and Lance would normally disagree and discuss what was or wasn’t appropriate to do in the given case, giving some sort of humanitarian excuse to mellow down the hard approach.

Keith would get irritated and snap at some point, settling on a middle ground that they would all have reached eventually had they not thrived on conflict a little bit too much.

And Hunk was very tired of the same old pattern.

Same old, same old.

“Let’s not even go there before we fix the Lions, all right?”- Hunk said breaking the pattern and crossing his arms like he crossed the line.

“Go where?”- Allura asked confused, chin still butted forwards in defiance.

“The whole saving the Universe business. I can see it all over your faces. You are alight like a kid on Christmas day at the prospect of being heroes again.”- He pointed an accusing finger at them.- “I signed up for saving the Lions from destruction, nothing else.”

“But the Universe needs saving.”- Lance objected.

“Maybe it needs saving from our meddling.”- And with that final warning, Hunk left.

\--

Allura walked into the kitchen to find Hunk spacing out behind the counter, hands stilled in the process of peeling some vegetable. Allura willed a smile on her face and sat down on one for the stools opposite Hunk.

“You know, you got to turn the heat on under the pot for your water to boil.”- She said gently and reached over to turn on the knob up.

Hunk inhaled, leaving his stupor behind. His hands set to work again.- “Thanks ‘Lura.”

“How have you been?”- Allura asked, still gently, but curious and digging as always.

“Alright I guess. I missed cooking with all these alien ingredients. I wonder if I still can make something nice.”- He smiled, eyes vacant and not meeting Allura’s.

The smile fell. Who was he kidding. It was his mother’s cooking that he no longer possessed a finger for.

“And how are you actually?”- She insisted and Hunk finally looked up. Allura held his gaze and with a long singh, he gave in.

“Not too good if I’m honest.”- He looked away ashamed towards the seating area behind her.- “I keep having flashbacks. I see her standing in the corner like she is still here. And she is just smiling…”- He trailed off as they watched the Bravi niel-eggs turn porcelain blue in the bubbling water. Hunk inhaled long and deep.- “I am not sure how long I can or will stay this time.”

“If there is anything I can do to-”- She offered.

“This is not something you can fix, Allura.”- Hunk said with more irritation than strictly necessary.

\--

Pidge could feel her anger, so all encompassing, so solidly there at all times, that she almost forgot to question why? When did it even start and why was she unable to feel anything else? Far too antsy in her own skin, fingers itching to be applied again, like a sharply honed machine, springs ready to jump back into action.

No matter how many analogies she made, the answer never really made sense to her.

(“Why have you been such an instigator?”- Pidge wasn’t even sure whether Allura actually asked that or not. Why couldn’t you just leave me alone resting in peace?

“I don’t know.”- She looked at her own lap.- “I feel like I’m an addict, shaking in wait for the next fix, but at the same time I feel like I have been numb and high on drugs this whole time...Nothing really feels real or sure anymore.”

She looked at blue eyes shining with that mysterious pink glint.- “And I wanted to feel alive more than anything.”)

 

Looking at her own dirty fingernails and drying cuticles nothing felt that glamorous or important anymore. She sighed and looked up as a pair of careful and trained footsteps approached her.

“Will you ever give us a reason why you chose to step down?”- Keith asked and Pidge considered giving him the same cold treatment that she had dealt Hunk. God knows Keith couldn’t handle those.

“Look, I know I am not Shiro-”

“Damn right you aren't.”- She shot him down. But I had hoped you would talk to me about things that upset you.

A heavy silence.

“So what?”- Keith tossed at her.

“I don’t know what you expect.”- She looked up irritated and slivers of desperation were escaping her all the same like germs radiating away from their host.- “You had Lion switches before, this is nothing new. And yeah, maybe I am a little crying bitch-baby whining when it’s my turn, but quiznacking hell, I shat my heart out of my ass when I felt Vincent alongside Green in my mind.”- Somewhere along the line her breathing had become ragged.- “And he is so much more than me, more present and god the way she talks to him. He sat the first time in my cockpit and knew buttons better than I did.”- She buried her face in her hand.

Keith hesitated.- “I think...I felt so betrayed when I saw Lance piloting Red into battle against Lotor that day. We had zero overlap, zero conversation, just the demand as always, and I always felt like.. Like I was robbed of a part of me. A vital organ if you will.”

Pidge lacked the empathy to appreciate the honesty and heartfelt concern in his confession. She was too absorbed in the wallowing pit of her own emotions. Still a part of her tried to muster some appreciation for his encouragement.

“There is no procedure on how to do this.”- She said.- “I might be able to ‘do this right’ as you say, because we are not under direct threat, but there still has been no precedent. Paladins don’t just switch to new cadets. They die and then some other poor fool has to take their place.”

And maybe that was the most upsetting part, she mused. After all these sacrifices that they have made to bring their team back together once again, they had no future whatsoever.

Their time was gone and Pidge was maybe desperate enough to cling to its last vestiges, but she wasn’t stupid enough to let it continue and fester. She’d much rather cut her own arm off.

Green had made a decision. She had made hers.

“Vincent is good raw material. I will make him an excellent paladin to join your team.”

\--

“Ok, so obviously things have been changed, but we can still adapt and go forward from here.”- Lance tried again after he had hoarded all seven of them back into the same room later that day.

“Our problems are very multifaceted, so we might end up going separate ways anyway.”- Allura added not even looking up from her tablet and poked it with her pen.

“Right. We got the Senate, the repairs on Yellow and the Haggarium problem.”- Lance counted.- “Any other special requests?”

Hunk rolled his eyes at the theatrics. Why did he have to try so hard all the time? Always playing the clown, making sure everyone was appeased, even when there was no appeasing possible. The cadets still uncomfortable at least seemed more at ease with Lance than with any other member of their team taking the lead. Hunk had always thought he would have made an excellent Black Paladin.

“Has anyone noticed that we weren’t able to form Voltron the last time we tried?”- Keith asked.

“What do you mean?”- Pidge asked concerned and she couldn’t help but shoot a quick glance at Vince.

“The usual feeling just wasn’t there.”- Keith explained.-” There was no pull, and all of you were so dulled. Black was very sluggish and unable to connect.”

“I can’t say I noticed, we weren’t even in proper position for more than a second.”- Hunk said.

“Maybe something is wrong with Black.”- Keith thought out loud.

“Or maybe you just aren’t as good at piloting her as you thought you were.”- Allura jabbed and Hunk couldn’t help but let out a laugh. Allura caught his eye with a glimpse of hers and for a moment, the pure venom flowing between them was terrifying.

“Alright, no need to get so personal. We just need more team building exercises and with some self discipline we can overcome these issues.”- Lance chided, taking the moral high ground that he had no damn right to.

“Oh yeah, I guess your self-discipline regime must be so freaking great. Good job on only holding hands and not necking around on every available surface like last time.”- He said with so much vile that the hurt in Lance’s eyes almost made him recoil. Lance’s hand slid of Keith’s shoulder like it had suddenly caught on fire. When they had first gotten together, Hunk had been happy for them, had listened to Lance’s endless gushing about how great his boyfriend was. What happened to all those positive feelings? What happened to the Hunk that had been able to feel anything positive beyond numbness and now bitter pain?

“When did that happen anyway?”- He asked deciding to hammer the last nail into the coffin. As far as he remembered, Lance and Keith didn’t exactly leave each other on amicable terms.

“They fucked on the first day back on the Castle.”- Pidge snorted and Hunk bristled at the crude language.

(Mouths hot, meeting over and over again, fingers snared in long threads of hair bringing back memories of years long gone with a hot breath of need shared between them.  
“Keith, stop. We got to talk before we go any further.”)

Her hands shook on the keyboard as she was typing, and if Lance looked at her a little bit too knowing, then none of them mentioned it.- “What? The walls are thin.”

Allura huffed and finally dropped her tablet onto the empty sofa in front of her.- “Trust me, you’d know if they were thin.”

“Thanks for the information. Didn't know that you and clone Shiro were so kinky.”

At the mention of the name Allura and Keith locked eyes and nothing even needed to be said.

 

A pause, with an icy wind sweeping across the room. A pen twirled around in a hand like a dagger, ready to snap. Allura’s face contorted into a wry smile.

“You know, I never understood why you were so angry at me. Considering how you were the first one who fell for it and brought him onto the ship.”

 

The room erupted and Keith was up on his feet, already shouting back, Allura poised ready to throw a punch if needed.

And oh god, she needed it.

Pidge, Lance and Hunk rushed in, with soft words and strong hands pulling Allura and Keith back. Some wounds apparently never heal.

\--

 

“Let’s make Shiro a grave.”- Hunk said.

 

\--

Keith found Lance on the observation deck, the tallest point of the castle and the only one with a real view on the universe, untempered by reconstructing and analysing screens. Just the blackness with a few stars in between.

It had always been Lance’s favourite spot.

Keith sighed and pried the bottle from Lance’s lax fingers, trying to not even mind the number of other vessels on the floor around him.

“Come here.”- He said softly and guided Lance’s head to rest against his stomach, smearing the wetness on his face onto Keith's shirt. Quiet sobs still raked through him as Keith stroked his hair soothingly.

“It’s all right.”- He hushed.

“What was I supposed to say to him?”- Lance sobbed.- “I am his best friend and I couldn’t even be there for him. I just left him and he had needed me, Keith. How will I ever fix that?”

Keith didn’t know. And it seemed like he never even did. He had grown too accustomed to relying on Lance. Even when he had left, he liked to chalk it up to it being mainly Lance’s decision.

 

Much later, when Lance had long fallen asleep on him and he had time to mull over all the things that had been hurled around the room earlier, another figure approached the windows.

“Space is beautiful isn’t it?”- he asked.

“Less colourful than I expected.”- Vince said with his hand softly caressing the glass, withdrawing quickly when the cold became biting.

“I’m sorry for getting involved in all of this.”- He said after a pause.

“You are the Green Lion’s chosen Paladin, I’d say you were exactly where you needed to be, regardless where you came from.”- He shrugged.

“There is a lot not working out between you lot, isn’t it?”- He asked carefully. The absence between them was impossible to miss, even for someone who barely knew them at all.

“We lost a very good friend.”

“Takashi Shirogane, I know. I read history books.”- He said and turned to the glass again.

Keith’s eyebrows knitted as he studies the sombre kid. He was so quiet compared to the other loud one.

“You have great raw material.”- He decided to echo Pidge’s words.- “Pidge will make an excellent Green Paladin out of you.”

 

And the young boy left with as much uncertainty as he came with.

A funeral, Keith thought, sounded quite good.

\--

It wasn’t necessarily Shiro that they needed to bury. Each of them had something they needed to lay to rest on the back of a homeless asteroid in the middle of the rubble left by their first battle against Zarkon.

 

-SHAY-HOME-FEAR-DUTIES-FAILURE-ANGER-SHAY-GUILT-SHIRO-SELF BLAME-SHIRO-SHIRO-Shiro

Sometimes the shared emotional bond worked to their detriment chaneling all the good, but also amplifying all the negative emotions between them.

Standing in the emptiness, the five of them stared at the small marker pillar erected in Shiro’s name, just like those of many other rebels who lost their lives in the fight for freedom.

It felt like a release. It felt like it finally meant something. Giving Shiro’s short and tormented life some sort of disturbing and heroic meaning, and finally granting their minds a release from it all.

 

One by one they left, jetpacking back towards the ship looming behind them at a respectable distance, a protective shoulder covering them all from prying eyes.

Allura stalled, like she always did, but this conflict has been naggin in the back of her mind for the better part of six years and she longed to be rid of it, finally brushing it off the tip of her tongue.

When only she and Keith were left, she stepped up to him.

“Will we ever be able to forgive each other?”- Allura asked.

“It is not you that I can’t forgive.”- Keith finally said.- “It is my own stupidity for not realising.”

\--

A feeble smile. Memories left behind in no soil to bury.

There was no fresh air left in the stale universe to breath, but it would work just the same. They could build something on this tentative peace.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now everyone had the opportunity to get angry and yell and hopefully they will be able to move forward from here. 
> 
> I know I don't interact a lot with this fic in the notes, but that is because this is mainly what I call my "depression fic". So yeah, the fewer updates the better I am doing actually. But I am happy to announce around six more chapter's worth of ideas for this fic before I let these heroes off to rest.
> 
> Message me on [tumblr](https://www.afabulousjello.tumblr.com)
> 
> Song of the chapter:  
> Against the Tide - Celldweller


	7. Are you less than?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "There must be something I can do! Anything-"
> 
> Are you less, are you less, are you less than

The second Pidge has left them alone after the trip to the sick bay, there had been no questions asked. None really.

(“Why is walking away so damn easy for you?”- Keith’s question echoed still in Lance’s mind.)

Chapped lips, promising of pleasures untold and memories so familiar. It was like gravity to Lance and at that point, he didn’t possess the necessary self restraint to think better than.

Keith kissed like fire. Hot, passionate, all encompassing and demanding all of Lance’s ever scattering attention. Focusing it on one spot, a single sensation, only to shatter it by touching him all over, covering him in marks left by hot fingers.

Somehow they had tumbled to their shared room. A home once, now echoing of loss and sleepless nights. At that exact moment however, feeling an increment more comfortable.

Mouths hot, meeting over and over again, fingers snared in long threads of hair bringing back memories of years long gone with a hot breath of need shared between them.

“Keith, stop. We got to talk before we go any further.”

Pushing away felt physically repulsive, but it had to be done. Once the carnal desires have been given in to, there was no turning back and Lance could not live with another backpack full of regret.

“What is there to say?”

“What there is to say?”- Lance almost let out a full on laugh of bitterness. He shook his head and focused on Keith again.- “The question is, Mr Hothead, what you want out of this?”

_ What do you want from me? I have nothing more to give. _

Keith frowned momentary, emotions conflicting, using his face as their battleground.

“You.”- Was the simple answer. 

Reality is of course always more complicated than that.

 

\---

 

Allura had no energy to stare down the concerned eyes of her aged mentor, or to keep up any appearances at that point. Hands wringing and pacing up and down in her quarters, she knew she was only looking for excuses for her behaviour, but that was still better than admitting defeat and looking to the true source of her feelings.

“I just.. Got scared. I was told they would be taken apart to be examined at first, but now it seems they have just been waiting for an excuse to end Voltron’s existence. That is the last piece of Altea that we have. The last piece of my father. I wanted to keep it even if just as a relic and how could I have realistically argued for that? We two are the last surviving members of the Altean race, how could anyone even have the capacity to comprehend-” -And the tears were there again, pricking at the edges of her eyes. Coran could of course. He was the only one who ever could.-  “I got scared. And when Pidge told me she had a way of getting to them I accepted her help, no matter what the price.”

“I understand. The question is just, are all of you ready to pay it?”- Coran said.

As it was, she might just as well have handed the Senate the reason to bury Voltron once and for all with her own hands on a silver platter. She shook her head gathering herself, posing a little bit more like herself.

“I am not signing up children for this war. Not again.”- Coran’s presence was so solid, so comforting from even across half the galaxy projected onto a flimsy screen, that she could allow herself to feel protected for a second. Like things had the capacity to go alright for them at all. 

“How much time until they are on my neck for treason?”- She asked. The pity in his blue eyes told her there had long been no chance in even asking.

_ I will fix this. _

 

\---

 

Despite the first steps having been taken towards  _ something _ there, Daniel didn’t really feel like a lot had changed on the ship. The air was still tense and it was getting to him all too much and making him want to run and crawl away from it. When he wasn’t pacing corridors aimlessly, he was sprinting along them, waiting for some purpose to come up and be called for.

I the middle of the night, swallowed up by his disillusionment, Daniel let himself be afraid. Afraid of having committed an enormous mistake. 

Worrying more than that, about what if he had just been a vessel of for Vince’s destiny.

Vince, who now was what seemed like every waking moment under Pidges tutelage. A part of him that wasn’t rightfully jealous over that, was consumed by suspicions. Realistically, he could see in how far Pidge herself was just drowning something in that overbearing care. Vince himself wouldn’t bother thinking about that. Only when the noose became too tight to breathe would he chose to stand up for himself.

  
  


Allura drummed on the tabletop impatiently, the two hands just a little bit out of sync. Daniel’s attention was inadvertently drawn to her left hand, where the ring and pinky fingers were missing the sharp clicking sound of nails hitting the surface.

 

(Allura had sat at the same table, not so long ago, face pale from blood loss and left hand clutched in a soft towel; swaying, but determined to deliver the news before getting medical attention.

“The Gher’xians are not amenable to forming a coalition with us. I think they made that abundantly clear.”)

 

“We are running out of time.”- Allura announced darkly.- “The Senate is demanding answers.”

 

\---

 

  1. The Garrison was on their necks for stealing back property that didn’t belong to anybody to begin with.
  2. The Senate accused them for instigating war-inciting actions. (Like Voltron has been nothing else but propaganda.)
  3. Haggarium was spreading and slowly, slowly taking a toll on the Universe and the Paladins as well.



 

\--

 

And time was ticking away.

 

\--

 

Keith began complaining of headaches and nausea every time he got near the Black Lion, but he stubbornly refused to let anything show. He refused to acknowledge the fear brewing in his chest, that threatened to burst and consume and devour every last shred of him..

It had only been two years of separation, there was no need to be afraid.

And in a way, Black nudged back, knowing, that that wasn’t the only concern Keith was desperate to forget.

 

(An angry shiver ran through Keith and he banged his fist against the metal panel behind his back. He was torn between pushing himself away and running after Lance and crumbling to the floor and bury his face in his hands groaning.

 

“Why is just walking away so damn easy for you?”- He yelled after him and Lance’s broad back visibly twitched, making him look bigger and smaller at the same time.

“You think this is easy on me? You think any of this is easy?”- He spun around, volume raising. He stormed back towards Keith and all but slammed into him. Keith snarled and batted his arm away, while the angry words just kept flowing and flowing between them. Rivulets turning into avalanches.

Lance retained a solid grip on his wrists and lets their heads fall closer, foreheads resting against each other in a way that would have been almost tender. But Lance’s face was so, so damn passive and hot tears streamed down Keith’s face, moistening the thick air between them, face glowing in embarrassment.

“Fuck this.”- His voice breaks. )

 

It had only been two years but had anything at all changed? 

Had that decade that they spent together?

Had war and peace really become that blurred a line?

 

\--

 

“Listen, it is not your fault that the entire Universe is so gung-ho about it.”- Pidge said.

“I can’t even keep the peace that we all fought so hard for.”- Allura sobbed while Hunk pet her back in relaxing circles.

“None of that is your fault. You are doing your best.”- He reiterated.

 

Daniel stepped away from the doorway quietly. 

 

\--

 

It was no rest for the wicked. 

Daniel watched once again from the projected screens of the command bridge how the Voltron Lions took off. Avoidings Senate flagships and keeping their activity masked was a struggle when after establishing piece, those were the kinds of ship positioned at every corner of the galaxy. Something about not demilitarising after the war ended had suddenly began to strike him odd. That was a mistake and should have been a first warning sign. But locked in bodies still trembling from fear and adrenaline, nobody had bothered to think that apparently.

Daniel didn’t think himself profound for that- it was easy being clever in hindsight. And nowadays everyone seemed to sport 20/20 vision regarding that.

 

“We got the sample.”- Came from the comms. By now Daniel at least had his own seat next to Pidge, overlooking communications.

“Or as close to it as we could.”- Another voice said- Keith probably- sounding very tired.

“I’ll do what I can with the data.”- Pidge conceded.- “Let’s see if that is enough to put together a rudimentary algorithm.” 

“Return to base.”- Allura commanded.

 

After their first and only encounter with the weird substance when recovering the Black Lion, Haggarium seemed to have gone from the universe. Like it was conducting its own cat and mouse game with them.

Just to see how long they could survive out there, alone, with the Senate on their neck. 

But just as tantalisingly, readings kept popping up from all sorts of quadrants across the universe, reporting similar findings. There one second, gone in the next. With no rhyme or reason to location or timing.

 

“I think it’s searching for something.”- Vince said when they were alone on a balcony one night overlooking the old entrance hall on the 40th floor.

“You think it’s sentient?”- Daniel countered.- “I thought it was just matter. Drawn around by cosmic forces.” 

“Yes but that is saying atoms don’t search around for perfect bonding configurations. The Universe is more than what our science thinks it is, I guess. The Lions specifically prove that.”

That caught Daniel on a hook.

“Do you think…. It is the Lions it is looking for?”- He asked tentatively.

That had Vince quiet for a while, considering Daniel’s face while he thought.

“I guess then it’s good that we are on the move as well.”

 

\--

 

Lance followed Keith from the corridor into the large room they had once again started calling theirs. The door slid closed with a swoosh, isolating the rest of the world from them.

Not the flowing conversation between them however. 

It dragged like a wet sack of yeast, dripping foul juices on their backs, souring the taste of sweet meetings after so long.

Nothing ever was easy.

“It doesn’t have to be as complicated as you make it be.”

Trust Keith to deflect. Trust him to never talk about anything. Keith, who wears his heart on his sleeve, who cares so much for the fate of the universe and his friends that he crossed death several times. A man full of contradictions and Lance hated him in that moment just as much as he loved him.

“I worry because I care!”- Lance snapped back.- “Ignoring it until it goes away won’t work here, because this is our relationship we are talking about. And I am staying here.”- He over enunciated pointing at the ship around them. -”And so are you.”

“You just want to over-discuss something that we established ages ago!”

“See, that’s why! I’m afraid. I don’t want our relationship to go up in a tire fire again!”

“You think this is what I want?”- Keith asked offended.

“I don’t know what you want because you won’t talk to me about things like that!”- Lance exclaimed, tearing at his own hair at the back of his head. Looking at the completely disarmed look that Keith shot him back though, he lowered his arms slowly.

“I guess I am also afraid.”- He admitted, voice and body suddenly so, so quiet.

Barriers crumbled, pretense fell apart. How could they have been too proud and too afraid to deny themselves?

 

“We don’t have to go down the same path again like we did last time. This is not the same war, the cadets most of all prove that.”- Lance offered. He yearned so much to think that the cadets were announcing the beginning of a new age that included finally relieving them of their Paladin duty one by one. As if reminded by that, Keith said.

“I’m afraid of being replaced.”- He gulped.- “I’m afraid of being forgotten, of not mattering anymore. Of not being believed anymore or being respected as an authority with autonomy.”

“I am not too keen about being relegated to being shoved back into a broom closet either.”- Lance said.- “I don’t know what to do about this at all either.”- He scratched at the back of his head.- “All other factors aside, here is this bright young kid who is the perfect match for the Green Lion even replacing Pidge… where is his team though? Where are the others he could fight with or fight for?”

Keith remained silent thinking for a while.- “Something tells me… no, more like I want to think, that the path we are on will lead us to them eventually.”

“Tracking down whatever the hell that Haggarium substance is?”- Lance raised an eyebrow questioningly.

“Where there is large power, there is strife. And strife brings groups of people together- this much at least I learned from the Voltron Coalition.”

 

He turned to leave for his daily check through the ship when Lance called after him.

“That still doesn’t answer what we are doing about our relationship!”

Keith halted, strong back turned to Lance. His endearing sturdy frame bringing back warm feelings that Lance didn’t want to deal with at the moment. Not when it was so important to focus on the present.

“I want to forgive you, and forgive myself for all the mistakes we made.”- Keith began.- “I’m not gonna pretend you didn’t hurt me or that I didn’t upset you in turn.”

Lance involuntarily had flashes of Keith leaving, terrified of being abandoned and yet leaving. And Lance staying, stubborn because Keith refused to accept why he would need distance from space, why he would need healing. 

One of the things most frustrating about Keith was his inability to recognise that he was not always the only one hurting. 

Lance supposed if anything was to happen between them from that point, it would need to be built on a basis of much better communication.

“We could try and reacquaint. Just like we are doing it with the six of us.”- Lance suggested.- “We have a lot to re-learn, but it worked once and I think it could work again.”

 

The soft words seemed to reach something in Keith and he shuddered, turning around.

“Lance, you are my whole world.”- Eyes soft, voice full of utmost love.

“I would follow you anywhere.”- Lance said back with complete conviction. He trembled knowing how true those words were on both sides of the equation. It was love, absolute devotion and sickly sweet promises of headless codependence. This is what would drag them into a black hole.

 

But this was also what would drag them out of one.

“I’m tired of hurting. I’m tired of destroying. I want to heal with you, I want to build with you!”

“Once we survive round two of this mad ride, we can work on that.”- Keith promised with a smile on his face and a squeeze of his hand around Lance’s.

 

\--

 

Vince’s hands shook around the controls of the Green Lion as he read of analysis values off the screen to the rest of the team, just like Pidge has taught him. The universe too big around him, too connected, he was too aware of everything. Through the barrage of information, every twitch amplified. 

It was just routine. Read the screen, relay information. Scramble for any piece of information they could use to gain a shred of information. 

Vince felt like he was going to go mad with not knowing. SO much time spent searching and so little answering.

-

 

Daniel tapped his feet on the floor of the control deck. The waves visualising the conversation he was listening to not even distracting anymore.

Are you less

Are you less

Are you less than

 

-

 

Space was three dimensional, ever present. Quite nauseating when observed through the cockpit of a giant flying feline. 

But it was full of crackles and spines and fissures, all composed of energy fluctuations - as told by his screen. Entry and exit points to the nervous system of the cosmos. It almost seemed-

 

“That’s a Garrison ship.”- Hunk gasped, just the second alarms flared on Vince’s screen as well.

The game was up and they finally faced their unwelcome greeting as ion cannons started firing at them.

“Greta maneuver!”- Keith belled, transmission distorted by static or the thrum in Vince’s ears.- “Evade, evade.”

The Lions moved in a flurry, movements way to complex for Vince to comprehend. He tried to mimic, but he had absolutely no idea what he was supposed to do. Panic rose as more shots started raining on them and Green’s shields were depleting at a drastic pace.

A foot slipped on a pedal, a hand to slippery on controls and fear gave away to panic as his driving got shoddy.

“Bottom left! Bottom left, minus XY!”- Lance shouted at him and Vince adjusted, skimming of the trajectory of a laser beam by a hair’s berth. 

Tears welled in the corners of his eyes born of panic and frustration. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t do this.

Not with the vague instructions; the well oiled team; the current political mess.

-

 

Are you less are you less are you less than

 

It snapped.

Daniel almost ripped some of the cabling out in his haste of putting on a comms headset to go into a direct channel. 

“Fuck my backseat driving, I know.”- He started without much preamble knowing the inside out of this conversation with Vince. He went straight on to saving his damn life.- “Adjust minus Y, plus X. Z axis twirl. Heavy minus Z, go for it, floor it.”

He felt it more than saw on the tiny transmitted screen, limited by the lack of the kinetic surround or peripheral vision. But he must have been doing good, if the the more calmed breathing coming from Vince was anything to go by.

 

-

 

Vince hadn’t been quite sure how it had happened. He wasn’t quite sure if he heard Daniel through the comms or if those thoughts have been straight up implanted into his brain in Dan’s voice.

Nonetheless, he breathed a soft “Thanks.”

“Fall back, return to the ship.”

“Coran, prepare the teludav generator.”- Allura said and even mid battle, something seemed to freeze. Odd. Dissonant.

Vince didn’t have time to dwell, too focused on not dying on the spot.

 

“I’m on it.- “Pidge grumbled, dull and deflated.

 

\--

 

“Just because they showed up with a ship doesn’t mean the Garrison is also tracking Haggarium.”- Lance said as he toweled his damp hair.

“But it’s more than plausible, isn’t it?”_ Pidge asked.- “With Voltron gone from their hands, they look for something of similaréy powerful potential. And Haggarium is nothing short of a weapon by itself.”

“It’s more a power source though isn’t it? Extra condensed Quintessence.”- Hunk mused.

“Point stands, if they wanted to, they could refine it into a weapon with the knowledge they gained from trying to hack around Voltron.”- She shrugged.

“How, when we don’t even understand how it works?”- Keith sounded aggravated.- “More important is if they have realised that that’s what we are after as well. We will become an extremely easy target if they know where to lie in wait for us. They have a lot more resources; we’d just made ourselves into prey.”

A pause stretched.

Allura almost smiled. It was way too reminiscent of old times- them against the universe.- “Looks like we have to start all over again, looking for people who would be on our side to share resources with.”

 

In the vent above the room Vince thunked his head softly against the wall. It was the first time Daniel had taken him with to eavesdrop into conversations they shouldn’t have been privy to. 

 

\--

 

Vince stepped softly into the kitchen area, activating the dim nightlights with a motion of his hand to find someone else already leaning to the counter. Lance itched and made a quick move to wiping tears off his face with a stifled sniff.

“Oh hey Vince.”- He greeted with a hoarse voice, lilt a bit too forcedly cheerful after what Vince has just seen.

“I was just hungry, I think.- “He said stepping into the room awkwardly.- “I couldn’t really sleep.”

“Yeah, me neither.”- Lance admitted. He picked up his bottle from the counter and took a deep swing. Vince eyed the faded label, but it seemed to be alien juice bottle this time.

“Commander McClain-”- He started.

“Just call me Lance, Vince. We are in the same team now.”- He gave him a reassuring smile. Vince didn’t really know what to do with it though, and he was tired of just standing awkwardly. He slid down the smooth wall in front of the fridge and drew his knees up. Lance must have sensed his distress as he slid off the counter to sit level with him and eyed him with curious eyes.

Vince didn’t consider himself to be as hot-headed as Daniel, but he absolutely hated the scrutiny. How many of these late night run-ins was he gonna get before one of the adults caught on to his sleeping issues? How many more awkward meetings with Lance did he have to suffer that left him unsure of just everything in general? The Commander was a mess and it was petrifying to see him sink that low, to make Vince feel like he was the more equipped member in the conversation instead of the clueless child that he actually was. 

And the surreality of the situation apparently culminated in this, sitting on the kitchen floor. Vince was suddenly very aware how he was essentially wrapped up in PJs that were scavenged Altean clothes from 10 000 years ago and some hand me downs from two of his former Garrison instructors.

“Is everything alright? Are you adjusting well to piloting a Lion?”- Lance asked.

“Yeah, it’s a lot different from fighter simulations. More intuitive. And somehow easier because of that as well.”- Vince said rubbing his neck.

“How are you getting along with Pidge?”

Guilt.

“Hanging in for my dear life.”- He replied.- “She is… very intense.”

Lance laughed softly.- “Oh yeah. She can go 100 miles per hour sometimes.”

There was a silence.

“Can I tell you something?”- He asked hesitantly.

“Sure.”

“I am worried.”- Vince said, furrowing his brow trying to assemble his thoughts into sentences as they took shape in his mind.- “About this whole Paladin business. Replacing Pidge.”- Lance let him continue without interrupting or asking for explanations.- “You are such a well oiled team, and I am just a spare tire tossed in there. We can’t even form Voltron most of the times. I am not sure this is heading into the right direction.”

It wasn’t .. all of it. But that was all he was willing to give at the moment. After a long silence mulling it over, Lance finally said.

“I am worried too about the Paladin switch.”- Vince froze. -” But not because of you or your performance, more because of Pidge. I don’t know why she _ did _ it. Despite having worked at the same place for the past two and a half years, we barely even talked. All three of us just kept to ourselves and it is kind of terrifying how little I actually know about how she dealt with the aftermath, considering we spent a decade together on this ship.

“I don’t know about Coleen, I don’t know about Matt, except what chatter Allura has told me, I don’t know whether their dad is really dead or presumed dead. So I can’t answer any of those things and make you feel more valid and frankly? I hate it. I hate not knowing my team.”- He took a shuddering breath after the largest bit of his monologue had flowed out of him in one go.- “What i do know is that this is very new for all of us. We never replaced the team constellation one by one before. It never really occurred.”

“What do you mean replace the whole team?”- Vince asked alarmed.

“I just..”- Lance studied his expression.- “Vince, we can’t stay doing this forever. We are too burnt out, we don’t exactly function as a team anymore and people don’t seem too thrilled about us returning either. This is not our conflict anymore. Our faces have become associated with a war of the past, that does not need bringing up. 

“We have always thought about the possibility that Voltron would be needed again lead by new Paladins. Ideally yes, we would have chosen actual adults who had some life experience, but hey we gotta make do with what the universe has to offer.”

“So you want to give Voltron up for good one day?”

“I want to be not reminded of the faces of everyone I let die every single time I sit in the cockpit.”- Lance said dryly. Guilt, VInce understood very well at this stage.

“Are you considering Daniel as a pilot?”- He asked quietly. Lance laughed softly.

“Daniel? He reminds me of Keith when he was young.”

“Does that mean a yes?”

“It means an ‘I am trying not to get my judgement clouded by nostalgia’.”- Lance offered a sad smile.- “It is not down to me. It is whether any of the Lions sees potential in him or not. Sadly, in the case of the Black, Yellow and Blue Lions that prerequisites an actual team to be present.”

Vince understood. It made sense in how those three operated. That left…

“And Red?”

Lance looked at him longly, considering his reply.

“She knows he wants to prove himself. She is waiting for him to do it.”

 

\--

 

They full on expected another false alarm, just tumbling on the footsteps of some energy they couldn’t understand. 

After weeks of searching.

After weeks of hiding.

Patterns moved across the main screen of the bridge, visualising the energy fluctuations human eyes couldn’t see, painting spots of the universe in sickly purple and blue.

Volatile movements amplified, like the pulse of a heartbeat, flashing bright red for a moment-

It rippled, crumbled. The fabric of space folding away like paper shredding, yet more fleshy and organic. A display of terrifying violence.

Particles volatile and scattering, just like they had seen around the Black Lion.

“It’s the real thing.”- Pidge said, lungs void of air.

The barrage wouldn’t stop. The fluctuations beyond the limits of their sensors now so close to the source. As the Haggarium undulated, pulsing like a living being, yet composed of tiny tendrils of individual cells. It drew back,hitting again with renewed force almost as if-

“It’s trying to break into the universe!”- Vince blurted, epiphany finally bursting after having watched the same pattern over and over again.- “But how?”

“The rift!”- Her eyes got big and face pale.- “Lotor must have… We can’t let it get through! Everyone to your Lions!”- The last part amplified through all crevices of the Castle.

 

-

 

Everything started trembling and Daniel felt like his stomach opened up and gave way for its contents to be splattered across the floor.

This was the real deal and they couldn’t. Daniel and seen them try and seen them fail in much less serious circumstances. Not while Vince was dragged behind like a limp foot.

Daniel had helped him once and he would do it again and again until if he had to. To make sure he was safe. 

To make sure  _ he _ was needed.

While there was ever a shred of a task left to be assigned, he refused to sit by and listen to transmissions again. Not again.

His heart burned. He needed to  _ do something _ .

 

“Wait!”- Daniel ran into the hangar after Lance, almost slamming into the door frame as the Caste shook under the physical forces.- “Lance wait!”

Lance’s broad shoulder was the only thing that greeted him, already covered up behind the protective layer of his armour, even broader, even more distant.

“What should I do?”

_ What do you mean? _ And it was just a tilt of his head. Lance was actually already tuned in to the transmissions filtering through the helmet’s comms in his hands.

“There must be something I can do!”

Lance stared at him and Daniel felt hot tears threatened the edges of his eyes, put on the spot and the confusion from Lance’s side was just burning, burning humiliation.

_ IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO? Am I really that useless to this team? Do I really have no inherent value to you? WHAT AM I EVEN HERE FOR? _

The answer was clearly the same phrase repeated off the lips of all the adults on the ship over and over again. Just hang back and cause no trouble, something will surely come up.

 

“There isn’t really anything to-”

“THEN GIVE ME SOMETHING TO DO! I AM NOT SITTING OUT LIKE A GOOD KID AGAIN WHILE YOU ALL RISK YOUR LIVES!”

 

Like an explosion, his unyielding demand suddenly out in the open space and Lance might as well looked at him for the first time properly. 

And not just him. The universe expanded beyond him, beyond them and Daniel was stared down by eyes burning like embers. 

The air in his lungs constricted, filled him out like acrid smoke but didn’t choke him. Looking up at the large silhouette in front of him he understood.

He was finally seen.

 

A flash of movement and Lance tossed him the helmet and Daniel’s clammy fingers struggled on the surface for a second.

“Suit up.”- He said with a smile.- “Red is yours.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After surviving the Voltron apocalypse 2k18, I am back to pour some love into this fic again. Long chapter and not quite happy with the pacing and some changes of style - I wrote separate fragments at very different times. Feedback and thoughts, as always, appreciated!
> 
> Song of the chapter is:   
> Less than - Nine inch Nails


End file.
